a chuckle of laughter....while overlooking the date from last's post...indeed being clumsy searching for the "new post' tab explains the unfamiliarity of visiting this blog of mine. Perhaps the sudden need to write, to scribble, to spill a fountain of letters at this very moment would for sure solve the unfamiliarity in no time.....

So where do i begun.... felt a norm of writing in novelty since the fact that my postings are not catered for 'publicity'...

Where do i begun. For there is so much in mind right now. moments of thoughts? well, scrap that let's go back to simple thoughts.

Or basic thoughts....pick a word....a word of substance... that defines, that mould, that sculpt, that do wonders...

TIME? indeed yes.... rather fit well for the abovementioned.

*Gasp of relieve*

Time, such simple substance that brought so much. Putting a halt to this post, for I felt there is more to spill at the right moment of time... soon. :)

with love, just a beginning........

Fumbled within Mediocre

Beneath the anomalies of experiences, what stood out within a flash when you fumble through the dusk of your memories? Out of the dull and plain that is just....nothing but plain, what indifferent memories , be it good or bad ones that lingers within thoughts? Unique and unexpected, to fit within the gaps of differentiated are thoughts that I yearned to experience. Stood different, stood preciously unique, for after all we are similar exteriorly.

Intrusion

It was a soul with complications of simplicity. Exteriorly it was a projected illusion of acceptance for others. Interiorly it was confusion of inquisitive mind, nothing similar to the illusion as sighted by others. A presumption of singular or rather exclusive inferior that may be distinguished from the norm of dullness. Its uncharacteristic behavior at times drew my attention to begun interest understanding such unparalleled attraction. Every minutes of sight counts, memorably. Each day denotes a fiction beginning and leads to a fiction ending. Of reality encountered, I see dreams. Of destiny encountered, I see fate. Whereabouts of this illusion leads to, indeed a secluded path of happiness. Intrusion of feelings. I behold my sight for now. The sight of sanity for feelings of insanity. Redeeming to know that all is more comforting now compared to previously. It is indeed more than mere attraction because it is different, differentiated from the norm I have seen ~           

Womb to Tomb

“Our lives are not our own. From womb to tomb, we are bound to others. Past and present. And by each crime, and every kindness, we birth our future.”

Cloud Atlas- A movie that I have recently watched and it left me intrigued, as above was a quoted verb adaptation of the intriguing novel by David Mitchell for the movie “Cloud Atlas”. Indeed, it was a magnified story on our illusion of what we encounter every day, “Life”. Where one begun to question the whereabouts the origins and correlations of such illusion which brings the need of mankind to manipulate and control the illusion of, “Life”. In my intepration, this illusion was explained in this story of “cloud Atlas” in a very momentarily beautiful stories. The unity of 6 different parts of storyline gave a climax understanding of questionable of this ignorant illusion. Why illusion, one doubt? Life may not be a illusion, as it is reality, but I would rather presumed it as a manipulated illusion of dreams because,”Our lives are not our own,”. The coexistent between lives of different individuals of the population we are living within are infinite relationship of crime and kindness toward one another. One love another of the same kind, yet one commit crime at the same time to another. If the Earth is a creation of God, without interference of mankind, are you authorized to change the written creation for self manipulation? The relations of each story told defines the necessity of responsibility we owe to another, which is our future. In fact, I hastened to believe that reborn of the soul exist as defined in this story because death is a tool to demolishing of our soul. However, consequently the degree of separation between death and life creates manipulation of fear towards the living soul. Inevitably, of such we belief that death purpose are to be the door towards heaven or hell. Would you have reflect the illusion you are living now to only do kindness as you fear the future sculpted resulted from your wrongdoings in the past and present? 

Moscow, Russia

An outdated post on my recent amazing trip to Moscow, Russia. Indeed, it has never came across my wildest dreams that I would step a foot at such beautiful place so soon. Almost 3 weeks was a breathtaking experience that gave me chills to the very inch of my bones, temperature for the drastic winter was around -22 and highest was -16. Literally, frozen at all time . Jaw wide open when I reached Russia airport , Domodedovo International Airpot. First time looking at such beautiful falls of snow, everything was covered in a white blanket of flakes. Reason I have written this post because I had a dream that I was back to Moscow, standing in the middle of Red Square , overlooking the Kremlin, hence, I realised how much I had missed the place. Been to so many beautiful places round the world, yet none gave me an everlasting memory as this place did.

Domodedovo International Airport

The sight from thousand feet above... miles reaching Moscow.

Despite the charming sights and experience, stayed in Hotel Cosmos with not very friendly customer service. Partly due to the language barrier of communication. It helps to actually put a little effort, which I did, learning the Russian language or simple words as all the people dont generally speak English. 

Hotel Cosmos, Prospect Mira

My night view from the hotel room, the highest floor in the hotel, overlooking the  Ostankino Tower  and Space Museum.

Little Russian egss <3 td="">

My day view that never fail to give me chills of happiness. Beautiful sights that clears all doubts and worries, just  at point blank.

Me in the furry ushanka. Trying to fit in to the crowd, wherby it is weird not wearing furry hats and also to save the ears from falling off in the chills :D

A day of unpacking after a almost 24 hrs flight was satisfying. Days after was very welcoming with the accommodating friendly people that take care of us while we were there, especially Natalia Sumarokova that ensure our journey had no hiccups at all.





Shopping during the weekends with frozen face after walking by the streets of -23c for 10 mins. Literally, felt the nose almost fall off. Christmas deco everywhere, jingles all the way~

The most memorable part of this journey was visiting the famous places of Moscow and musuems that narrates the historical side of the country. Intrigued by all the monuments, AC period human bones and even the great extinct mammoth remains, archaeology pieces and definitely really amazed at how recent man had found and learn at the formation and development of mankind.Adventuring such artifacts at Museum of Russian Pre-Historic. The great pieces I saw in Kremlin , St Basil Cathederal, was breathtaking. All these are sentimental part of the journey where I have been longing for when I am abroad. Not the shopping nor the luxury dining that fascinates me, but yet such learning of the unknown facts of life that interest me at peak. Back to basics on simple fact of life where many chosen to ignored its significance to modern life.

A unforgettable journey of experiencing new thoughts of culture~ A place never to be forgotten~

Inconsistency

Nervewrecking at times where you are stuck within the confusion of yourself, developing inconsistenty of path. Inconsistency is not a word I favor for its need. Doubts coexisting with the truth. But what is the truth? something you have perceived or is it an undeniable fact. Overshadowing the rest, the rest whom have gave me perfection. Yet i seek the inconsistency more, for it is damned with fulfillment to myself. For a short period of time or longer than needed , I would not know.

Ugly Truth

Truth and a lie. What coexist within a truth and a lie? A fine line of belief.  As both may seem to be a direct verb with burden it carries independently, what defines a truth and a lie? My opinionated translation of such the above is result of satisfaction of proclamation of those two. A truth that brings impeccable satisfaction versus a lie that brings greater indefinite satisfaction. Which would you belief? A subjective belief of the outsiders whereby I could have presented a persona of “truth” into a “lie” and likewise. Yet, minds of the alike have been taught that only “truth” presents sanctuary of beauty and “lie” presents the ugly side of truth. 

I perceived a lie as an ugly truth but it is partly true~

Hollow

Im tired. At this state of perception, nothing perceived is believable. Secluded in this spectrum of vacuum space, unable to diversified, unable to diverge to any direction. Its a circle of momentum which you are standing afloat in the middle , being the interception point for everything . Im tired for now. Its hollow. And when im tired, il turn to ones whom comforts me. Being a little child at heart ;*(



Song for the day, loving the rhythm ;)

Bangkok~

Abandon blog, time to have a little update~

First time setting foot at Bangkok, yes, indeed a little backdated..had always wanted to be here for its shopping adventure as much i have heard. Three weeks of working days ... hopefully lots of shopping time and wandering around the city ... must must not procrastinate like i always do... yet, its been raining days since the day i've set foot here, rainy thunder stormy night tonight , again.....awaiting to finish all work and its off to Moscow .

Been a busy 1 year of travelling and gets a little tiresome, nevertheless loving the adaptation to getting out from comfort zone. At times, it is just concluded characteristics of many whom have the need to comfort themselves in familiarity in life to give them an assurance which they thought they need. Comforting for the time being, but it is when you start experiencing a whole different scope of familiarity, you would then yearn to have a change. When comparison of a new 'familiarization' to the old is put on the table, evaluation for everything better or to just have faith that you already had the best of everything. Changes, simple sense in it that accumulate is capable to make big changes . To always ask oneself, what changes do you want? What worthy changes do you need?

Little Time

 Much had been said and done in a mth since back to home . Good and bad, eventually sums up to a bad ending with good beginning ahead. Time to expedite movement of  ' checklist' crossings in 3 weeks before leaving to F-rica . Much to do in litttle time. Unsatisfying to leave something unsettled ......

Secluded comfort

Confined in a space of happiness, with secluded comfort . Happiness , is remedial for  fear, pain, sadness and anger. Awkwardly, the sight of eyes recognizes happiness easier compared to the dark synonyms that plays along with it. Often, when happiness involves the role of the vain heart, it is fragile. It is unheard, as it only can be greatly felt emotionally. This confined space of happiness is now an addiction to the soul, yet it bears so much fear. Foreseeable, a drop of tear would not portray its impact, it is the fear of tears. Where to no avail, the vain heart is patient with abundant hope to dwell in this given condition. The daunting to strive further as time pass day by day. Yet, for how long……to dwell without thinking about consequences.

Light up…when you do not know how to fight :)

Witty song with casual attractions ...favourite :*)

Persona of Senses

Sense of perfection , sense of satisfaction , sense of security

Sense of perfection derived conclusively when you obtained perfection , noted that only in you view of perfection , as the verb 'perfection' in fact does not exist. Why so? Perfection do not exist in anything.. nothing is symmetrically perfect in nature. Hence, individuality perfection is rather obtaining sense of satisfaction in you own form. Often my definition of perfection i have drawn for myself is far from perfection. Due to the fact that i am easily satisfied, in certain matters to be specific.

Thus, satisfaction concludes to security. An understanding of basic life limitations where sense of security is put in place. Whereby, when I am satisfied of the perfection I have in mind, I would feel secured. As simple as that, as usual, I detest complications. Why complicate when you can have the simplest form of understanding not involving negative outcome of complications.

As much as I would have written simple verbs and the real outline of story.... I am just using metaphor to express my thoughts for the above. Metaphor that implied to everything instead of that one story line.....

Venezuela~

Fast lane as time flies unintended in Venezuela, the rainy moody tropical weather of hot and cold had made the days pass slow. A week more for completion and its holiday for real, not that coming here isnt a sort of holiday, but its an assigned work-holiday, hence it does not give the  freedom of just-holiday mood . Nevertheless, I will be  missing the friendly and accommodating people I know here.

Awaiting for the exit meeting and off to main city of Venezuala, Caracas and Paris for a real holiday ....last but not least, home sweet home which im pretty much excited. It has always been weird how much I longed for trips abroad when Im back home ,but yet easily feel homesick when im away from my loved ones....undeniably indecisive characteristics =) or maybe it was just the missing thoughts of ones I loved.

Decided to document my laidback half a month lifestyle at the small town of Maturin as Im not a fan of taking pictures of every single 'atom/particle' I see, but rather documenting it in words seems more interesting for me. A sedentary and different lifestyle here, relaxing. A place that I would longed to live in upon retirement  ...."retirement" in the sense whereby when you have seen all you have wanted to see in live, whereby when you have heard all you have wanted to hear, whereby you have experience all you have not known and hence, a relaxing lifestyle.

The diversity of culture here is interesting with mainly Spanish, Portugese  and surprisingly Indians. A rather poor city of Maturin with graffiti paintings all over is not a city of tourist destination. An amounted of 20 police cars in total in this Maturin town to cater safety assurance of thousands of residents nevertheless ridiculous. A city that speaks no English is real hard to be living in if you cant speak the native Espanol. Sight of the poor ones in the streets gave a sense of appreciation to the life you had , many may feel how inadequate the lifestyle they had now but its rather different when you have seen the unlucky ones with much more thankfulness in life. To be one whom is blessed over a meal they had for the day is worthy to life compared to ones whom feel "blessed" over luxuries of branded materialistic of life.

To be honest, everyone which includes me have had that luxury dreams of gaining every superficial achievement of lives, an undefined monetary value , an undefined satisfaction to everything beautiful to mankind....because we had seen the sight of things we wanted. To be walking in the exclusive luxury streets of Dubai and passing by the poor streets of Maturin is a different experience as a whole.

Yet, a turn-around thoughts also gave a different view of needs to achieve....be ever achieving in all dreams of life yet appreciative of everything you hold.

Before you start complaining about the party you cant attend, think about the working labourer who cant attend his loved family's funeral since he had no money to return to his home town ...

Before you start complaining about how unlucky you are to be working overtime, think about the about to due pregnant lady walking in the streets selling food just to sufficiently provide daily meal for her other kids...

Realised that I have written a sentimental preaching post all of the sudden=p

To how deep you dream, you can achieved
To how much you need, you would get
To how much you love, you would be loved
To how much you appreciated, you would be blessed

Jakarta~

A moment to dribble a few thoughts here having a relaxing day on a comfy bed reviving the long lost bloggie. Days in Jakarta are passing by slow this time. Sight of the beautiful busy city at the tip of my curtain is influencing me to not step out of the room to roam round the center of city. And of coz accompanied by the best thoughts thats daunting me=)

"A girl is happiest when she knows you make her your everything...in front of everyone, all the time".

nothing is too...

contemplating thoughts. where the mind is at a state of self-perceive dreams , inception of my own story into place. my story into my life.life is just a journey where there is always an end to it. it is not the end on winning that matters, yet the pathway that determines. nothing is too serious, nothing is too dangerous , nothing is too real, nothing is too anything, nothing is too _____*fill in d blank...take things easy n mediocre will be the guidance.

i deceive the seen, i believe my dreams

Don't lose who you are, in the blur of the stars
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It's okay not to be okay
Sometimes it's hard, to follow your heart.
Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,
Just be true to who you are
Who you are

christmas jingles

its a white Christmas. pure distinct way to celebrate 'HIS' birthday. memorable celebration. may not be the same again but least it did was once celebrated in this manner '2010.

make a wish...

cause ive did...=)

satisfactory of life

was indeed taken aback by a recent news of a mere young adult taking his own life committing suicide in the name of love. Many may critique his pure foolishness that satisfy only his need of satisfaction without taking into consideration his loved ones. My take was that everyone have their fair chance of making decisions in their life, moving towards hope or moving back towards path of depression are decisions that any capable man could make. lose one is a door towards opportunity of yet another better catch. easier said than done but it is at times depends on the ability to reshuffle your twisted mind of whats left and regain control over your own life. No one would be capable of loving his/her own self anymore than another individual may do. is dying over love prove otherwise? arguable based on ones maturity looking at purpose of life. Mapping goals of life to gain money, fame, family, or love? For which aspect you would die for?

disturbing in every way how one look at the his purpose of life. Intriguing how one's main aim of living is to fill over the empty space of mind for love. No doubt love is magical at times with its capabilities that utterly gain means of happiness it result. In any means of the failure attempts result in a depressive and sadness manner of life afterwards, attempting to gain over the once over happiness, rethinking their mistakes, what if and only if. In my thoughts, mistakes or succession resulted from decisions and actions are mostly irreversible as lightning dont struck the same place twice. You could have done things differently, you could have did otherwise but it is just act of reasoning in creating a reason for failure fall back of matters that failed, that did not produce the result you have wanted.

At times, depressed over matters that impacted the way they look at life, just simple thoughts would ease the discomfort emotions. being grateful for for whats left of life , looking at the brighter side and not taking too much consideration weighing over the lack off . Looking at what he/she is good at are better than looking at points he/she is lack off.

reversing the irreversible

a new day
learning the new
a new day
experiencing the new
a new day
disguising the new
a new day
excitement for the new
a new day
efforts for something new
a new day
proclaiming u are now new

yet
the new days will come to an end where
shattered memories, flashbacks of an utterly unforgettable glimpse
will struck. foolishly carved a worthless smile of joy

anticipation emotions

a journey of intriguing path is predetermine. or at least hints is showered.depending how u interpret it. a norm for me now. confusing at times. inner reminder telling myself to keep track . focusing on whats really important in life. succession in aspects as i have always wanted.

fantasies are dreams of realism. when you are awake....u will know. as long as u are aware. mentally